A gathering before a cremation
A gathering can come before a cremation. If your family wants both, you can describe them together from the start: time to gather first, followed by cremation. Direct Funeral Service and Cremation Memorial Chapel arranges a non-denominational funeral or cremation.
The first note is a place to explain that wish. You can also use it to describe the words, music and customs you want to include, or to put questions about the gathering into writing. Start with what you mean by gathering together.
Put both parts in the first note
Write the gathering and cremation in the same request. A short sentence can make the order clear: “We would like a gathering before the cremation.” This keeps the gathering visible as part of what your family is considering.
If you are asking about the possibility rather than describing a settled wish, say that. For example: “We are considering cremation and would like to ask about gathering beforehand.” Both examples begin with facts about what you want to discuss; neither needs a long introduction.
Choose the words that fit your family
The service does not belong to one faith. Your family can choose the words and music, and bring the customs that fit. When you write about a gathering, those choices can sit alongside the request for cremation.
Consider what you want to say in the note about those choices. You might already have particular words or music in mind. If you do, name them. If you want to raise a question about a custom, write that question. Keep the note clear about which parts are wishes and which parts you want to discuss.
Keep the gathering in view when writing ahead
Wishes can be written ahead. If you would want cremation and a gathering first, include both when writing about the future. Naming only cremation would leave that second wish unstated.
You can use the same plain opening as a family making a current request, with the addition that these are wishes written ahead. For example: “I am writing wishes ahead. I would want a gathering before cremation.” Add any wishes about words, music or customs that you want to put into writing.
Let questions have their own space
A note can contain questions as well as wishes. If a gathering is what you are considering, write the questions about it beside that wish. You can begin a separate paragraph with “I would like to ask about…” and finish it in your own words.
Read that paragraph alongside the opening. If the opening says you would like a gathering before cremation, the questions should help describe what you want to discuss about that gathering. This keeps the request clear without asking the first note to say everything at once.
Use pictures as a setting, and words for your wishes
If a picture makes you think about a gathering, put that thought into words. Say that you would like the family to gather before cremation, then add the words, music or customs you have in mind. Your written request is where those wishes become specific to your family.
Begin with the order you have in mind
A gathering first, followed by cremation, can be the opening of your note. Add the wishes you want to share and the questions you want to raise. If another family introduced you, include their family name too.
Write your note